&lead me off to your private dance floor

FYI

2004-09-26T02:34:56Z

k guys, well i'm just lettin' ya' know i'm not going to be using this journal anymore. i'm going to post in ____automatic from now on. so just delete this username from all of ya'll's friends list.. and add me at my new shell.. for the little snail that i am. hahah, i'm such a loser. just noticed that you guys are still commenting here, so switch it up. :D

____automatic, add it, kids.

love.

chemical__heart @ 2004-09-24T07:07:00

2004-09-24T11:09:36Z

currently under a new username!

*gasp*

____automatic

add it, kids.

love, taryn.

later gators.<3

2004-06-22T04:34:20Z

well today was a good day.
everything seems to be going in the right direction..
and that's the best way to start out summer i suppose.

i'm going on a journal hiatus, though.
it's just.. something i think i need at the moment.
so thanks for being wonderful, all of you.
&if you'd like, IM me @ because she says on aim, loves.
i'll be around.

other than that?
peace out, oh so much love.
and another thanks, <33

...

2004-06-20T12:59:01Z

so the last two days have been a total waste.
just. nothing.
the last two weeks have been rediculous, too.
just. nothing has held any meaning, it's fucked up.
i really don't know where i went wrong,
all i know is that somehow i'm not the person i used to be, supposedly.
i don't know how the fuck i got here, and how to get back to square one iether.
i've also somehow dissapointed everyone i care about by taking this new form.
go taryn, great fucking job.

last night wasn't the first night i've cried myself to sleep recently,
i just, collapse, and i don't know what the fuck happened..
everything seemed all too wonderful a month ago..
and now it's all somehow misconstrued into this.. fucking messed up reality.
i've been drinking way too much, and i'm quiting smoking..
i'm gunna fucking die, and according to rest of the world..
i already have.

i talked to nikki last night, and she opened my eyes a bit i suppose.
i thank her for being blatantly honest, there's so few people who seem to be able to tell me shit straight as it is, rather than candy coating it.
i just, i can't take it anymore. i'm so done right now.
the stress, the crying, just.. ending up in situatons i don't want to be in.

i wish i could fix this, but i don't even know where to begin..
all i feel is nauseous and overtired.
i'm sorry to everyone, to my friends for dealing with me,
and to pj, who somehow has slipped away from me in this mess.
i haven't talked to him in two weeks, i'm miserable.
i'm so stupid for not seeing it, when your boyfriend stops talking to you..
you should know there's something fucking wrong, another bright move for taryn.
&i miss him. i miss him a lot, i've always thought that one day he'd just get tired of me..
bored, &done with. maybe that's not even it.. maybe i'm just too far from myself.
i don't know, i'm out of answers.
what are you supposed to do though?.. he's not with the person he had a few monthes ago.
understandable.

i just want everyone to leave me alone.
i want to crawl into bed and sleep for the rest of life.
my eyes are bloodshot red and they haven't gone away in two days.
i'm sitting here waiting to go out for a funfilled father's day event.
i don't know if i'll be able to keep myself from crying all day.
he's going to think i'm on fucking drugs.
i need to be put into a phsych ward, this is not healthy.

not too bad of a day.

2004-06-18T05:52:50Z

sooooo, today. was the global regents,
i suppose i did decent, as long as i'm in the high 70's i'm ok.
80's? i'm throwing a party.
that shit goes on forever though, all i could think of was getting the fuck out of there.

jess-"i was about to raise my hand and ask the woman if i could go have a cigarette."

hah, i think i was somewhere in between there and needing some food.
afterward me madre picked me up and we were supposed to go to the beach..
but when we ran into a monsoon..the beach wasn't all that much of an option.
oh well.

when i got home jess called me and wanted me to go to Borders with her.
so her and lisi got to my house and hung out for a while,
and made our plans for tomorrow night. *winkwink*
then we headed to Bordered,
i grabbed A Clockwork Orange for my love, and something or another for myself..
jess and i read and chatted while she had a bagel& i had a latte.
we then ventured to Marshall's, i think between jess, lisi and i we got like..
ten pairs of new underwear.. rather.. cheap, i might add ;).
off to Best Buy for some browsing.. and then jess's dad grabbed us.

jess is staying the night,
and i've cleaned my brains out, as usual.
we taught my cousin some algebra, and i'm about to cut jess's hair again,
i'm still doing laundry.. and never started my global project..
which she still wants even after school's end.. mm, maybe monday?
other than that, tomorrow looks like a promising day of interest.
having a few people over for some shits& giggles ;).
then some time out on the town, a girl's night it is.
then we're all crashing here and what not.
saturday is my lara's birthday.
Happy Birthday my Laraaaa ;)<3

then a fun filled Fathers Day Sunday.
let's hope i'm in family mode by then.
my, oh my.

oh well, that's all.
lovelovelove.

hmmm.

2004-06-16T04:38:52Z

well let's see.
today was most definitely a very.. interesting? day.
let's just say i got to know the westbury drainage system a lottttt better...
and that jess's sister is insane.

maybe i'll go into more detail tomorrow.
lmfao.

uhm. hmm. other than that...
monday.. yesterday. yea, that was a pretty fucked up day too..
wow i'm just full of fucked up days.
yesterday consisted of some mexicans, beer, 711, the track field, and california?
OH and a frog and a rabbit.
the end.

i'm covered in little scratches from my perilous past few days..
who knows where the fuck they came from, man.

last night i think was the lowest night i've had in a while..
even after the fun day and shit..
i don't know, i just came home with too much on my mind..
too much i had been putting off. and it just started to get to me..
i had like, and emotional breakdown or some shit, hahaha.
but i'm okay now, so .. yay.

mm, i'm so happy it's summer,
in all honesty.. i'm so all over the place during the summer..
i don't know how much i'll be on the computer..
it's such a winter thing, really.
so i suppose i won't be commenting/updating as much..
BUT I STILL LOVE YOU ALL,
SO IT'S OK!!
so just FYI, i don't know how much taryn is going to be around!
so if anything, IM me on aim @because she says, or call me! 5162336098!
yea, man.
super love for my el-jay gangsters. for serious.

andddddddddddddddd.. i really think that's the end now.

so goodnight, sleep tight and kiss yourself goodbye. <3

[edit]

How to make a chemical__heart

Ingredients:

1 part competetiveness

5 parts silliness

5 parts ego

Method:
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Serve with a slice of fitness and a pinch of salt. Yum!

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

..fitness, hahahhahahhaa.

[/edit]

just so you know..

2004-06-15T04:28:05Z

so i hope you know i can't stop thinking about you. and i hope you know that i'm tattered and torn in this deadbeat town. i hope you know that i'm sick with you and for it i can't stop these cold tears. i hope you see these same stars tonight, empty like this moment. and i hope you know what this feels like, when everything crumbles and the scent of you lingers.

yawn

2004-06-10T02:35:41Z

hmm, today was super hot out.
i think it made myself, and the rest of the world rather irritable and uncomortable.
but hey, man.. i'd rather this than 25 degree weather.

today was lame,
i took an extra ten minutes on my math final.. into the next period,
and when i finally GOT to english..
we were taking a test! yay!
and he wouldn't give me back the fifteen minutes i had lost..
therefore i didn't finish the test.
fucking dick.
whatever.

atleast i knew what i did was right.

ad for CHEM, well.. that didn't go to well..
let's just say i need to study. a lot.
i hate how i know everything i'm talking about..
but when it comes to putting it down on paper it never seems exactly what they want.
i hate the world.

blah.

me and my mother argued when i got home,
and my aunt gave me a small gift..
it happened to be a chinese food container type box..
and it's contents were condoms.

hahahhha. some thing at her office, she's a nurse..
and HIV workshop.
and the theme was green, so there's like.. green ones..
and mint flavored ones.
oh man, it was comical.

she thinks i should give it to someone deserving of it.
i won't re-announce her list.
oh my.

other than that..
i'm hot.
thankgod my mom let me put the AC on..

i was a do nothing today,
i made a new background and some stuff for this damn journal..]
it's simple, no drastic change.
i tend to like keeping things the same.
oh well.

off to do something with myself i suppose.
later gators.

explosive aftermath

2004-06-09T02:34:25Z

walk away and leave me here, standing in the cold to dwell upon myself. deeper into thought, examining the underlying surface. below what's already there, what you already see. my being lies there, the composition and the theory. the equation that is you, and that is me. the meaning of the struggle and the answer to the anguish.

photo frame existance. only what you see in pictures. the physical image of who you are. change and distort me. re-create and evaluate me. destroy the canvas and begin again. re-make me, my every detail. the way this hair falls, and the way these eyes see. the voice you hear each day, and the skin that reflects your face. only an image, within this solid sturdy false frame.

this swell of existance, mistaken through smoke clouds. and this false apparition of what i am. what i can be. who i am and who i'll mirror tomorrow. no longer myself, just a carbon frame. just as you see me within this plastic covered frame. sheltered from everything and ready to be burned along with the end of your last cigarette.

shitty mood.
lifeless day.
good evening.

ack.

2004-06-08T03:02:39Z

so today was not too bad of a day,
the first out of the five remaining class days.
it wasn't too bad,
this week is for the most part a breeze.

i got through the day with sneaking my way out of a detention,
and three days of homework zeroes in math,
just because i didn't do three word problems..
that happened to be along with every other one we had due today..
which were complete and correct for that matter.

fucking cunt.
i hate angry pregnant women.

as for the rest of the day,
nothing special,
jess had it out with her dad
drew and i tried to make her laugh while talking about bleeding cycles.
lmfao, that was oh so entertaining.

jess's dad acts like he's bleeding 24/7.
i fucking hate that douche.

jess called CPS on him, so maybe he'll change.
whatever.
she can live here.

and and.
yea.
the end.
this was pointless.

goodnight. <3

hmmmmmm...

2004-06-07T03:36:33Z

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Have I ever hurt you?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Are we close?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I loveable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. Whats something you would change about me?
29. How well do you know me?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Do you think I could kill someone?
32. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?
33. Whats something you love about me?

anddddd otherwise.
uhm, this weekend was a lazy weekend,
i slept a lot, that was good.
i'm about to go get some more of that, yea man.

ok, fill that crap out,
because you love me.

and now i say goodnight.
GOODNIGHT!<3

chemical__heart @ 2004-06-04T19:17:00

2004-06-04T23:22:37Z

so today was a good day.
nothing special though.
uhm. hmm.

happy eight monthes, love. :D<3

i'm off to see him very soon.
we were going to see HP3, but i don't think that's happening.
we can see it after i read the book again..
i meant to do that anyway.

i took pictures because i was bored,
i cut my hair again today after school,
a lot of angeling and such,
you can't really tell in these though.
the focus is really my amazing mirror.
muahhaha.

ok, bye.

[edit]
god i'm full of these things lately.
hmmm, as for everything else i'll be away to long beach for the weekend,
i don't know if i'll have a computator..
so i shall see you all when i return!!

lots-o-love.
[/edit]

[EDITAGAIN]
HAHA, YOU CAN SEE THAT ONE OF MY BOOBS IS BIGGER THAN THE OTHER.
HAHHAHAHHAH.
ok, that's really it for the edits now,
HAHHAHAH.
kbye.
[/EDITAGAIN]

fsdfjsh

2004-06-04T03:00:44Z

argh. today was fun.
we went to the art show at school.
everything they put in of mine sucked.
east meadow high school has insane are talents.
maybe it's because they have a decent art program.
the end.

i have hw.
i'm not doing it.
yahoo is being a bitch.
it won't let me reply to comments.
SO IF I MISS SOME,
WHEN YAHOO COMES BACK ALIVE I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.
K? K.

that's pretty much it.
i think i need sleep.
lovelove. <3

[edit]
ok, so it's definitely not just yahoo.
the whole internet is being a total bitch.
and for once it's not my computer..
everything keeps glitching!
what the fuck.
i hate technology.
ok. bye.
[/edit]

carbon wastes and oxygen intake.

2004-06-03T03:12:57Z

hold me here without feeling and allow this pressure to cease. building up inside of me and asking for release. allowing me to breath as you offer your oxygen. i give you my carbon waste and you attempt to inhale. don't let your breath fail, steer from the and thine toxins. i never meant to hurt you, just don't hold me too tight. i never meant to hurt you, just don't hold me too tight.

the sun allows fresh eyes and open hearts. the rain leaves these bones to shake and our lips to quiver, such elements only contribute to this cycle. a process of you and me. the compounds that have created us and the standards we have followed. somewhere we've bonded more, like that of a compound itself. created ourselves in eachother and now it's too hard to say goodbye tonight.

these tattered words, and you're still leaving too soon.

so anyway..

2004-06-02T23:57:38Z

yesterday was just a shitty day.
i really won't bother to go into it.
after i got home i sorted some stuff out, thankgod.
my boyfriend is amazing, i don't know what i would do without him, kthx ;]<3
sheila is too. the same for her, amazing.<3

after that mess of a day i had the school concert.
the high school one,
i play the cello, so yea, orchestra and all that jazz, etc.
after waiting for 80hours to go on
(which is oh so unusual, since we're always first)
i was ready to pull my hair out..
fucking. staring at that piece of shit freshman slut, emily.
slut fucking pierced her nose..
see, i don't care about shit like that..
but fucking.. HER of ALL people.
omgiwantedtoslitherthroat.
i was having a panic attack.

whatever.
we went on, and we sucked.
like.. the worst ever.
it was so bad,
we totally fucked up the allegro symphony..
whatever.
atleast I knew was i was doing.
pft.

after the concert
i took off the heals and went outside with jess and lara.
i got some much needed air and relief, christ i needed it.
every time i had wanted to go for a walk or something i ended up having to stay in the rehursal room. fucking shitheads.

so we got out of the concert
and lara jess and i walked to friendly's as usual.
the oh so routine ritual of concerts.
the torture and then the reward.
i forgot to steal an ice cream spoon. shit.

so we're walking there and everything was just hysterical.
the whole night just seemed to have been really good compared to the day.
we get to friendy's and NO one is there..
i suppose every one thought it would be packed so they went to the OTHER friendly's..
therefore there was no one at our friendly's. hahah.
so then, since i had once again lost the same thirty dollars i lost a week earlier..
and my friends sister ended up giving us a few dollars and a ride home.

but dinner was insane,
jess was going insane.
and it was just hysterical,
like, oh my fucking god, one of those nights you won't forget just b/c everything was so funny.
i love my friends.<3

after i got home i attemtped hw,
and then sleep.

today i had school, duh. wasn't too bad.
def better than yesterday, MUCH better.
jess came over and we went and got her friend.
they smoked and i ate some cereal,
haha, interesting.

then we walked.
and now jess is asleep on my couch.

i have some homework so i guess i'll do that.

OH AND I DEFINITELY GOT TICKETS TO GO SEE FINCH, LIKE. OH MY JESUS. I'M GOING TO PEE MY PANTS.
all after a long dissagreement with my computer and ticketmaster. com ofcourse..
but hey, they'll be in my mailbox all too soon.
i'm so excited, fksjdfdsfg.
pj's going to join me and so is lauren and lisi so far.. i'm sure others too.
MCR is coming up soon, too.
oh man, everything is amazing right now.
so excited.

other than that..
the end. <3

[edit]
thankyou for the CKY chinese freestyle, pj.
voicemail is amazing. haha <3
[/edit]

too long.

2004-06-02T05:22:24Z

too long of a day to bother.
good and bad.
mainly bad.. yea.
but it's cool.
the evening made up for it.

i felt like writing before.
then i got tired.

i'm still tired.
and more tired.

i'll do this tomorrow.
goodnight. <3

[edit]
my butt and like.. leg.. thing..
they really hurt.
i should like.. move from this spot.
it's been a while since blood circulation.
[/edit]

[edit2]
you're so amazing,
&i hear you through these damp walls..
up and down this empty cooridor.
[/edit2]

so irrational

2004-06-01T03:31:39Z

so everything about this weekend i think has been perfect.
or as close as you can come for that matter.
i shall explain in short.

friday
jess's conformation.
that was interesting.
jess is amazing.
haha, we love her.
after a nice day staying home
i tried to find a way for pj to get here,
somehow it all ended up working out that my FATHER picked him up..
hah. yea, we ventured and grabbed him.
and they finally met.. interesting.
lmfao. i think it went well.
then we tried to contain ourselves through jess' 2 hour service,
hah.
she looked to perty. :]<3
jess's sister took us home after,
pj and i that is.
and i stayed at my mom's friends house.

saturday
saturday i met up with kellee and pj
and we ventured to my house.
yes MY house, in WESTBURY..
via bus/cab.
we got there around 6?
nikki, devon and missa were there already
and we all hung out.
tom, josh, hal, jesse, joey and christine all showed up a little later.
when we ran out of the beer in my fridge we decided to go get some more!
kellee, pj and i went on a mission ..
after a long hour of retarted mexicans..
we finally found a good one and headed home with a 12.
by the time we got back it didn't even really matter anymore..
but hey, we had a good time. lmfao.
when we got back the boy and i got lost for a few,
he is amazing. and i love him to death. the end. :]
it was so nice to have him here for a change,
we have to do that more often.
the whole night was just, too much fun.
i think kellee had a good time.
wait, scratch that i KNOW kellee had a good time. ;P
hahah.
around 1130 i put pj in his cab back home
and headed back to the house.
when i got back it was just kellee joey and jesse left.
we all chilled for a few.
there was some argument over a few things..
but i think it's all okay now.
so it doesn't matter.
thanks for your help nikki, <3
i then spent from about 1 to 5 on the phone with pj
and then i hit the sack,
not remotely tired.
the end to a lovely evening.

sunday
lara called me at 7am.
we chatted for a few,
then i slept more.
kellee woke me up around 9.
then we slept more.
around 11 we got up and got ready.
and took the bus to the mall for a few.
then headed back to long beach.
we went to kays and then pj met us.
headed over to kellee's mommy's birthday BBQ.
that was fun,
we just kind of floated around for a while,
we went down to the beach for a few hung out there.
kellee and kay attempted to go swimming..
claiming that the water was not cold.
HAHAH. when they got back with bathing suits on..
it suddenly was TOO COLD?!
freak. haha. <3
we went out looking for something to do around 11.
there was nothing.
pj headed home around 1145 and kellee kay and i just sat on the corner of some block and chatted.
we headed back and ended up staying at kay's for the night.
another good night. <3

monday
hmm, today was such a lazy day.
kellee and kay jumped on me and woke me up at about 1.
and kay's mom made us eggrolls and fried rice for breakfast.
then we ate cereal.
pj met us over there a little later
and we watched thirteen.
HAHHAHA. that movie is HYSTERICAL.
everone should go watch it.
NOW.
i stayed in my pajamas until like, 6. lmfao.
i didn't know how i was getting home a little later so i was going to take a cab with the last of my money.
granted.. a forty DOLLAR cab..
but .. that or taking the bus to the mall..
that closes at 6.
and waiting there at 8 for a cab..
HAHHA. nothanks.
kellee's mommy and daddy ended up taking me home.
they are amazing. <3
i at a cookie and some apple sauce.
then i got home.
and that is the end.

tomorrow is school.
someone shoot me.
ugg.
it's cool.

HILLY IS COMING WEDNESAY! YAY! :D<3
goodnight.

[edit]
i inherited a turtle?
from my neighbor?
he's chillin in this tank on my kitchen counter.
cool beans.
we need a name.
suggestions?
[/edit]

mhmmmmm

2004-05-31T00:03:58Z

pj loves taryn with all his heart.. even though its very small and discolored and is filled with poop..
kayleigh is shittttt
shit shit shit shit shit h
shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit
shit shit
shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit

ok i love taryn, bye.

well that was interesting.
my boyfriend is insane.
and that is all.

other than that,
all i had to say is that this weekend has been amazing.
and it's not over yet,
we're justtt gettting started, muahahha.

so with all of.. this.. said.
bye!

love, taryn <3

goodmorning.

2004-05-28T15:00:15Z

mm, so i ditched school.
i woke up late anyway..

and was like;
HEY MOM, CAN I STAY HOME?

and she was like;
NO I GOT A LETTER SAYING YOU'RE MISSING SO MANY GYM CLASSES YOU'RE IN DANGER OF FAILING OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. NO. GET DRESSED.

and then i was like;
UH. THOSE.. I'LL MAKE THEM UP. CAN I STAY HOME NOW?

and then she was like;
K. BUT YOU'RE CLEANING THE HOUSE.

hahhaa. so taryn went back to sleep.
then i listened to the thunderstorm for a few hours,
that was chill.

got up, drank tea, and here i am.

so now i'm going to go and pee,
and then help my mom with whatever she needs..
and continue planning my OWN weekend events ;D

later, babes. <3

for the hell of it.

2004-05-28T02:04:19Z

stealed from bridget, umbrella_.<3

Layer One
Name: taryn e
Birth date: march two four eight eight.
Birth place: uhm. syosset, ny?
Current location: wastebury, ny
Eye color: blue
Hair color: dirty blonde-ish
Height: five feet and one half of an inch
Righty or lefty: el righty
Zodiac sign: aries

Layer Two
Your heritage: uhm. spic, italian, irish and everything else, too.
The shoes you wore today: really beat up spongebob flip flops.
Your weakness: enough
Your fears: uhm. unwanted confrontation, and that's like.. it. really. i think. hah.
Your perfect pizza: pineapple pizza from dominoes. omg. fdbfs.

Layer Three
Your most overused phrase in instant messages: :]
Your first waking thought: where the fuck is the snooze button.
Your best physical feature: uhm, i like my lips i think?
Your most missed memory: when life was simple.

Layer Four
Pepsi or Coke: coke, mother fucker.
McDonald's or Burger King: mcdonals. burger kind is the most disgusting thing in the world, kthx.
Single or group date: depends.
Adidas or Nike: adidas.
Lipton iced tea or Nestea: LIPTON. EW NESTEA? it should be called sugar water.
Cappuccino or coffee: OMGYOU'REMAKINGMEDECIDE.FUCKYOU. :]

Layer Five
Smoke: dbgjbsgdf.
Cuss: i should be more of a girl.
Sing: only on my roof.
Do you think you've ever been in love: still am.
Want to go to college: yes.
Liked high school: pft. kill me with a fork.
Want to get married: yes.
Believe in yourself: sometimes.
Get motion sickness: nope. i like to spin.
Think you're attractive? depends on the hour.
Think you're a health freak: HAH. no.
Get along with your parents: depends. my mom is NORMALLY the coolest person ever.. but hey.. make room for PMS, man.
Like thunderstorms: they are amazing. fbskjdfs. i want one now.

Layer Six -- In The Past Month:
Drank alcohol: yes
Smoked: dfjsdsg.
Done a drug: nope.
Made out: yes.
Gone to the mall: hah. yes.
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: no.
Eaten sushi: yes.
Been on a stage: every day.
Been dumped: no.
Gone skating: no? lol.
Made homemade cookies: no :[
Gone skinny dipping: hah. nope.
Dyed your hair: never.
Stolen anything: HAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHA. OMG. HAHAHHAHAHA. hmm. i would believe so.

Layer Seven -- Ever...
Played a game that required removal of clothing: uhm. maybe. if so, i don't remember.
If so was it in mixed company: uhm. i really.. don't remember. hahah.
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: yes.
Been caught "doing something": hah. duh.
Gotten beaten up: and beat someone up back ;D
Shoplifted: HAHAHHA. HAHHAHAHHA. yah.

Layer Eight
Age you hope to be married: uhm. i don't know. whenever. :]
Numbers and names of children: jbfskjdfs !!!! I DO NOT WANT THINGS IN MY UTERUS. THANKS. i guess i really don't have a choice though.. THANKS, LOVE. bgfds :D<3
Describe your dream wedding: too much to tell, let's just say a hell of a lot of fun, and really fucking cool.
How do you want to die: in love.
Where do you want to go to college: FIT, and a few others in mind.
what do you want to be when you grow up: fashion designer.
What country/place would you most like to visit: paris, france. and china.
Number of people I could trust with my life: several. mainly the Fab5+lauren, and the love of my life, my dear boyfriend. &yeayea, you're all jerks. ;D<3
Number of CD's that I own: wow.
Number of piercings: 8, three in one ear, four in the other and my nose.
Number of tattoos: still zero. first next year.
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: i don't fucking know.
Number of scars on my body: too many. atleast they all have stories.
Number of things in my past that I regret: none.

hah, that was fun,
i haven't done one of those in a while.
<3

I DON'T PRACTICE SANTERIA!

2004-05-28T01:44:04Z

mrahh, good mood.
be happy for me.

today was a pretty good day,
i really can't complain to be totally honest.

school. blah.
a decent day.
good hair day.. we all love that.

came home and cleaned as usual,
and then called lara,
we chatted and i tanned on my roof
while she tanned in her yard.

then i painted my nails,
and jess called me.
she wanted jess and i to make up..
so later the two of them showed up..
and yea well.. lisi and just like..
forget we weren't talking.
asfjbfd. she's still an ass, ;]
but that's ok.. we don't mind. <3

uhm. next thing. weeee.
went to get jess's nails done.
and i like. painted my own nails in the nail salon..
haha, i bet they like hated me.
then i continued to use THEIR top coat.. hahah.
i'm such a jerk.

lisi got her nails done and we caught up..
jess had her nails and her toes done for her confirmation tomorrow..
woo! it's gunna be fun :]

pj is supposed to come here to go with me..
but i need to find him a ride here tomorrow here for tomorrow after school..
we have a ride back.. thinking about that i need to find a place to stay.... hmm.

then saturday we're all partying it up.
so far we deff know it's going to be kellee [gatostar],
nikki [ellio], devon [heydevon] and pj and i.
who the hell else is coming we don't even know yet. hah.
it's gunna be great.

the girls are all going to NJ,
lara, jess and lisi? have fun, don't make babies, make friends. ;]<3

as for anything else?
uhm. i have to shower now..
and then do some homework.
laundry..
and maybe figure out where the hell my boyfriend went? hmm.
nutcase.

later! :D<3

[edit]
OH MAN. forgot the best part. lisi jess and i definitly rocked out hardcore on my roof to yellowcard, taking back sunday, matchbook romance, the ataris and barnd new.
HAH. that was so great.
i think we scared my neighbors.
[/edit]

MRAH

2004-05-27T00:23:18Z

hmm, well i don't know.
i'm at hedy's now,
i just finished helping dillon with homework,
that whole tutoring gig.

i still have hw of my own to do,
nothing too serious..
the only thing i can see taking up some time is global hw..
but it's cool.. i don't mind.

uhm, hmm. wow.
i had like, a super happy spree before.
i had just eaten.. i think it was an energy thing..
now i'm angered.

i was thinking of making a small friends cut..
but i don't know, i'm just lazy..
and it's just that like.. there's few people who either don't ever comment..
or update.
and if they do? they have nothing to say, if they update at all.
i'm not like.. telling people what to write..
but come on man..
sorry, that probobaly came off super bitchy,
i'm just kind of like.. BGKRBG at the world for the moment..
whatever.

i need some new clothes.
i think grandmother is taking me for my birthday shopping soon.
finally.
i'm not complaining, man..
but i have to many holes in my jeans it's gotten pretty dangerous to wear them before i super patched them.. haha.

i can't wait for school to end.
i'm ready to shoot myself with a knife.
this entry was super lame.
i think i'll go now.

lovelove.

chemical__heart @ 2004-05-26T16:08:00

2004-05-26T20:09:31Z

nbksvbfdvbdjfbjdfbjfdbgfb. uh'huh.

subject here.

2004-05-26T03:17:41Z

and so you make your way across my world, and manage to make it better in so many ways. leaving this stain here on my heart, and contaminating my head with words. filled with sweetness and laced with poison, there's no falling away from you. just falling to the clouds, see the ground dissapear too quickly from sight. glided your hand across my face, and kissed my heart, you've left me with so much to lose.

up the dosage, and lose reality. because staying numb makes this love so much sweeter.

friday seems too far away.

2004-05-26T02:28:55Z

oh ew.
this evening like.. after 8 sucked.

the mall with lara was fun,
the woman who pierced laras ears was so bad i mind as well have done it myself.
i marked her fucking ears and everything.
whatta douche.

i got a cute earring.

when i got home i pierced the side of my ear,
the part of the cartilage thingee.. on the side.
i likes.
just a stud until it heals..
and then later the little ring i got.

i hate people though, man.
they irritate me, greatly.
just, the human race, as a whole.
and several other people.
but whatever.
i just don't care anymore.

i have homework.
and my eyes hurt.
i cannot wake up tomorrow like i did today..
passing out in the shower.
nu'uh, man.

goodnight. <3